Marriage has become increasingly focused on individual fulfillment and personal happiness rather than on the traditional concept of “love” and “commitment.” The risk of divorce in the U.S. is at an all-time high.
It’s important to note that there’s usually more than one cause of divorce, and those causes are often interrelated. It can be useful to know what others think about why the marriages failed, even if they didn’t end up following through with it themselves. If you want to prevent the same problem from happening again, it can be helpful to recognize when signs of this problem appear in your own relationship. It’s good to learn about some common reasons for divorce. Speak to a compassionate divorce attorney in Greenville county today and set up your free consultation!
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Lack of Commitment
It may be difficult to prove lack of commitment if the person being accused isn’t willing to admit they’re not committed. The outward symptoms may be related to other reasons for divorcing, including infidelity, unwillingness to discuss the marriage, and lack of joint financial planning. That’s probably why many people blame a “lifestyle” for their marital woes—because they see it behind a range of more obvious issues.
However, even if some might argue that marriage is the ultimate commitment, most people believe that a lack of commitment plays a role in the demise of marriages. Another interesting finding from the research was that lack of communication between partners was the main cause of divorce. However, one partner always blamed the other for not trying hard enough to save their relationship.
Other things couples lack in:
1. Lack of Intimacy
Intimacy means having close physical and emotional attention paid to each other. A healthy relationship requires asking questions about each other’s days, listening carefully when one partner has concerns and offering support for any problems that arise.
2. Lack of Compatibility
Even if your relationship began in complete harmony and synchronicity at first, time always brings change. Change is unavoidable. Change is inevitable. Change is always good for us. We don’t necessarily want to admit it, though, but we’re different people now than we were when we first met. And so are you.
Incompatibility and Growing Apart
Those lawmakers who decided that irreconcilable difference was the basis for no-faults divorces were onto something. Divorced people often say they grew apart from their spouses, drifted apart, or were simply incompatible. This concept of incompatibility could be any number of things that came up in various research papers, including a lack of shared values; not having enough time together because one partner works long hours; a marriage that was arranged at an early age; sexual difficulties; and religious disagreements.
Of course, many people enjoy living together despite having different tastes and preferences. However, most successful relationships are based on a core set of shared interests, goals, and values. Divorce includes poor communication, lack of trust, and infidelity.
Communication problems can lead to other causes of divorce, including conflicts over money and family responsibility.
On one hand, good communication skills are the foundation of any successful marriage. If two people share their lives together, they should be capable of communicating about what they need and trying to understand each other’s requirements.
Related Content: How can I prepare for a divorce?
Screaming at your spouse, not communicating enough during the course of the week, and making nasty remarks to show off your anger are all unhealthy ways of expressing yourself that need to be abandoned in a relationship.
If someone gets their need for sex or intimacy from another person, then they’re doomed to be unhappy in a relationship. Once a partner has been hurt by betrayal, it is extremely hard to regain their trust.
Cheaters often cheat because they’re angry at their partners or feel resentful toward them. They may be sexually attracted to someone else, or simply not emotionally intimate with their partners. Cheating usually occurs when someone who has been emotionally involved with another person for some time decides to become physically intimate with them.
Divorce is often caused by a physical affair. It may be that at least some divorced couples consider physical intimacy with someone else as just the final blow after a series of other marital issues.
According to divorce statistics, 22 percent of males have committed an act of infidelity in their lifetime. About one-third of men and one-quarter of women have admitted to having had an affair with their boss.
Emotional affairs are also a big reason for divorce. Couples view emotional intimacy to be harder to work through than physical intimacy. Partners feel a lack of intimacy.
Financial Incompatibility: Money Disagreements
A lot of things can cause marital strife, including differences in spending habits and financial issues, as well as one spouse earning significantly more than the other. Divorces caused by financial disagreements can be classified as one of the most common reasons for divorce.
Some money issues in married couples include:
1. One of you hides something or even lies about things like buying expensive items or taking out loans.
2. One of you doesn’t consult the other before taking major financial decisions.
3. You can’t talk regularly (and calmly) about your financial disagreements.
4. The two of you cannot or will not agree on financial plans for yourself and your partner.
5. You both agree on setting financial goals for yourself, but one of you constantly undermines them.
Of course, no matter a couple’s financial situation, arguments about financial disagreements continue throughout the divorce process. Money issues cause stress. Stress blocks communication. When there’s no communication between people, they tend to distrust each other. And the result is usually divorce.
Between 10 percent and 35 percent of people who get married say they divorce because of their partner’s alcohol or drug abuse.
If you notice any of these symptoms in your partner, they may be suffering from substance abuse:
1. Changes in sleep, appetite, and hygiene
2. Secretive behavior
3. Sudden mood swings
4. Paranoia or other personality changes
5. Neglecting work or family responsibilities
6. Abandoning old friends or activities
7. An unexplained need for extra money, and
8. Difficulties with attention or memory.
Among those who indicated their marriages were “on the rocks,” 12.1 percent reported it was due to substance abuse.
Abuse (both physical and emotional abuse) is never acceptable, and if someone tries to force you into an abusive situation, you need to get out of there immediately.
Some studies suggest that up to 25% of divorces are caused by domestic violence. A recent study found that nearly a third of older divorced women cite verbal, emotional, or physical abuse from their exes as one of the main causes for ending their marriages.
The views on whether domestic violence causes divorce to differ between men and women. According to a recent national survey, 42 percent of married American couples cite domestic abuse as a major cause of divorce. It may be because women are more likely than men to experience intimate partner violence and that domestic violence survivors are more likely than their partners to blame themselves for the violence.
Conflicts Over Family Responsibilities
About 20 percent of people who were surveyed said they got divorced because of disagreements over how to raise children, childcare responsibilities, and/or other familial and household duties.
One thing to note is that research has shown that when asked why they got divorced, most people cited disagreements over finances and children as the main reason for their split. However, some research suggests that if you ask people why they stayed together, then they may cite “family” issues as the primary reason for staying married. With all of this, there are still more reasons that boost divorce rates for married couples.