Divorce is rarely handled by married couples agreeing on exactly the same thing at the same time. Thousands of couples go through a divorce. The divorce process can be difficult, but a divorce attorney will help.
More often than not, wives want a divorce, but husbands don’t. Even when the husbands know they’re married to someone who isn’t right for them.
Now that you know your wife doesn’t want to get back together, you must figure out how to proceed without risking your children and your job.
Contact an experienced Greenville divorce attorney today for a free consultation!
On this page
Trying to Reconcile if Your Spouse Wants a Divorce
Don’t paint yourself as the poor guy who has been wronged by his spouse. Instead, focus on positive thoughts. You’re not the one at fault; your spouse is.
Guilt won’t help you get her back. Instead, start focusing on what you have to give in a relationship.
It doesn’t matter if everyone has bad qualities; what matters is whether they’re willing to change their behavior. If you want to keep your marriage together, be a better partner.
You should be doing things around the home, improving your communication skills, making an effort to show your softer side, dedicating more quality family time, and expressing your gratitude towards her.
Usually, husbands don’t hesitate to express their wives’ needs to them. Think about ways to fulfill her desire for affection.
To be happy in a relationship, both people need to meet each other’s emotional needs. It is never too late to start.
If your wife wants a divorce and you want to save the marriage, don’t implement these steps alone. You need to be proactive.
If you notice any signals that your spouse might want to separate from you, then the goal would be to figure out what to tell a spouse who might want a divorce, how to get through the rough patches, and set up an environment where the relationship can thrive.
Things You Shouldn’t Do if Your Spouse Wants a Divorce
You want to give yourself the best chance at keeping your relationship together. Behaving desperate, angry, nasty, or vindictive is not the way to go about doing so. Instead, behave friendly, kind, and helpful. They can make it harder to achieve your goals, so try not to act in these ways.
- If you act out by doing drugs, drinking alcohol, hanging out at bars, or flaunting yourself sexually, then you’re not going to be able to get through to your spouse.
- If you beg, plead with, pursue, or press your spouse, they may feel pressured into doing something they don’t want to do.
- Buying presents, bouquets, and cards to make amends for whatever you did that caused your partner to want a separation probably won’t succeed in bringing them back together again. You will not be able to buy back their love.
- Talking about your marriage to your family or close friend may not be helpful. It might even make things worse.
- Idioms: Don’t just point out all the good things that come with marriage or about yourself.
- Manipulation: Saying, “I loved you” or asking your partner to buy books about relationships might seem pushy or manipulative.
- Nagging: Don’t call too often or send too many text messages to your spouse. If you’ve never done so before, don’t act desperate or needy.
- Neediness: If you’re overwhelmed by sadness, you might feel sad when expressing yourself to your partner. But don’t let this overwhelm you; just keep trying.
- Remembering: Don’t try to get your spouse to reminisce about their past relationships, talking about their early dating days, etc.,
- Stalking: Following them in your vehicle, and checking their email, cell phone, bank statements, and so on can destroy rather than build confidence in your relationship.
Learn More: Check out these Divorce Statistics in America!
Things You Should Consider Doing if You Want to Reconcile
If you want to keep your marriage together, you must take certain proactive steps to make your relationship better. Ultimately, the goal isn’t just to prevent divorce but also to make it better.
- Act as if you’re going to move forward with confidence. Even if your partner doesn’t stay with you, commit to doing so anyway.
- If your spouse comes to you with questions or issues, allow them to talk to you about their feelings. Be sincere when telling them that you want to save your relationship, and then be patient during any conversations about the issue. Listen actively and attentively to your spouse’s comments.
- Don’t let yourself fall apart, go into an angry state, or become vengeful. Instead, muster up the best attitude you possibly can.
- Treat your partner with respect. Show them respect too.
- Don’t engage in an argument. Don’t take the blame if your partner gets angry. You might even have to leave. (If your partner says that you “always leave,” say that you’d be happy to stay and talk about things civilly. Then do it.)
- If you need some extra support, read a book on personal development or seek out a professional who specializes in helping people get through difficult times.
- Let your spouse be who they want to be without questioning them about where they’re going or when they’ll get back.
- Keep busy. Continue doing things you enjoy. Maybe take up a new hobby. Get out with friends, go to church, and do something fun. Stay active, and keep moving forward. Don’t let life pass you by. Do not allow yourself to fall into a rut. Be positive about your situation.
- Make sure you keep up with your personal grooming. Wear nice clothes. If you’re feeling depressed, ignoring basic hygienic practices could worsen your situation.
- Don’t let your emotions get out of control. Find ways to express yourself without hurting others. A good way to deal with difficult emotions is by talking to someone who won’t judge you.
Always Protect Your Legal Rights
Some people get really upset when their spouse asks them if they can live at their parent’s house for a few months after they’ve decided to file for divorce. They think that asking them to leave is an insult.
If your spouse wants a divorce and you’re worried they might file for one, then you need to take steps to protect yourself from any potential false domestic violence claims.
This is a complicated issue. If you have kids, you may not want them moving out because your spouse might get into that restrictive gatekeeping mentioned earlier. However, if you do not let them go, you’re worried your spouse might start making false domestic abuse claims against you. These false claims could be arguments he starts and then calls the cops saying you beat him or engaged in some other violent act. You’d be surprised how often a cop will arrest the wrong person.
She might even go so far as to involve the police, but she may also make false statements in her papers filed in family court.
If you think your spouse might be cheating on you, don’t wait until they actually cheat on you before taking action. Consult an experienced family law attorney right away to discuss your options. Don’t be surprised if they advise you to immediately seek a restraining order against your spouse, obtain a court order granting you sole legal and physical care of any children involved, and initiate proceedings to terminate parental rights.
Protect Important Documents From Destruction
Another smart idea is to keep important papers safe. Today, people often store important information online. They might do so in the cloud or they could put it on a hard disk or even on multiple disks. Whatever method you choose, just remember to back up your data regularly.
If you want to keep your spouse from destroying important records, don’t give her exclusive control over them. But if you’re worried she might destroy them, don’t allow her to have sole control either.
Contact an Experienced Divorce Attorney
Contact an experienced family law attorney today at Greenville Family Attorneys. With the possibility of divorce out there, a marriage counselor can help with the divorce process and divorce papers. Call (864) 475-9393 for help with your divorce judgments.